We are excited to host

slave xiaoyi


Profile Details

xiaoyi is a slaveheart and bootblack at large. She is a teacher, coach, and speaker on topics including self-improvement for a more fulfilling life, gender, living with invisible illnesses, sexual identities, and BDSM. She is poly, pansexual, omni-sensual, Leather, and queer. She is most fulfilled in a 24/7 TPE style relationship. She loves leather, costuming, pain, and protocols. She flags orange and Leather Worship. She is the Southwest Bootblack 2016. And has been teaching since 2012

xiaoyi's mission is to help create understanding and acceptance among people for each to learn and grow and be as they are. She works to do this through education and demystification. She serves her community before herself. She is a coach and speaker who openly shares her journey in hopes that she might help others who face similar challenges.

Seldom shy or at a loss for words, xiaoyi enjoys deep philosophical, spiritual, and religious discussions. She does not retreat from difficult topics or hesitate to admit she doesn't know something. She is often working at events, but when she has a spare moment to follow her passions, she will most often be found in her dress or stripped down, caring for someone's leather. She has no problems switching between elegant hedonist and bootblack because, for her, blacking is hedonistic.

Her favorite color is rainbow and her favorite flower is tulips. She has a wry sense of humor and red hair. When asked if the curtains match the drapes. she will gladly tell you "I installed hardwood."

Who will be presenting:

Communications in Professional Kink

Panel Description

How Can I Say What I Mean When You Aren't Listening?

Class Description

Whether talking about poly, tpe or relationships in general we often hear the phrase, “communication is the key”. Seldom do people take the time to talk about how we communicate respectfully and clearly. This class provides some great tools and resources for how to communicate with partners even when emotions are high. Partners and groups are encouraged to attend this class together when possible, but solo attendance is very useful as well. Many of the techniques shared do work even if only one person is using them.

How Much to Disclose

Class Description

When it comes to mental health just like physical health, we have to make decisions on how much we will share with who. This is especially important when we're establishing power exchange or authority transfer relationships or even when we're doing BDSM play with others, as the intensity of our activities is more likely to activate our mental health conditions and triggers than regular "vanilla" activities. How much should you share with who? Who can you trust with what information? Who is responsible for deciding this? And who is responsible for the consequences of these decisions? Join xiaoyi in a discussion about these questions and more as we address how much to disclose when.

Support slave xiaoyi & Thrive

Thank you for your interest and your support of THRIVE! Because THRIVE is 100% free and not accepting donations, we ask that you pay it forward by donating to our speakers. 

slave xiaoyi accepts support through Patreon (, Paypal (, Venmo (@xiaoyiSlaveheartbootblack), and Zelle (
If you enjoyed slave xiaoyi, you can follow her on Patreon ( - and Patrons get first access to everything!), on Fetlife (@xiaoyi), on Facebook (xiaoyi Slaveheartbootblack), and on her website,

If you would like to support THRIVE’s efforts, consider picking up THRIVE swag at

Kink Adaptations for Disabled Folxs

Class Description

Xiaoyi Burlesque

Performance Description