SylvarSwitchblade

Pronouns: Xe/Xem/Xyrs; They/Them; He/Him
26 Years Old
United States, Oregon,

Thrive Virtual Conference Bio:

(Bio that will be used only for this event)

“There can be no light without shadow, for anything that stands in the light, casts a shadow” - Sylvar 8.24.2023

“I don’t ever want to be the person to say, I could have mitigated that risk, but it was inconvenient for me.” - The_Carnie 4.15.2022 Kinkfest 2022

“I am not a burden; me not asking for help may be robbing someone else of the joy of service.” - Cinder 3.7.2022

"I am not living my life for other people's consumption" - Sylvar 8.30.2021

"Every experience is a once in a lifetime experience, because no matter how hard we try, nothings ever exactly the same as it was the first time”. - Jolene Perry

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you will be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey." - Princess Diaries

Updated 2/8/24
Fully vaccinated as of 2/26/2021; Shot #6 on 8.5.23

Personality: The Turbulent Advocate
Code: INFJ-T
Role: Diplomat
Strategy: Constant Improvement

The accurate pieces are quite accurate, some bits are not.
INFJ-T
☀️ Cancer |🌙 Taurus | ⬆️ Capricorn (Tropical)
☀️ Gemini |🌙 Aries | ⬆️ Sagittarius (Sidereal)

BLM/ACAB/LANDBACK

Vanilla me:

I am a burnout gifted student with ADHD and ASD. I have multiple simultaneous interests at different states of completion at any given moment. Think of a bunch of spinning plates all balanced at the same time! Books, TV/Movies, Video Games, and the occasional hyper fixation that sparks my brain to deliver that dopamine. I am an avid audiophile, and often make personalized Spotify playlists for my friends and family. Because one of my biggest Neurodivergent Love Languages is Penguin Pebbling I will often speak in memes and music when I can’t find the right words to communicate a feeling or just when I am thinking about someone I care about!

I am most at home when I am out in nature, but I am a chronically ill spoonie and wheelchair user in an ableist, capitalist, society, so despite my absolute desire to tell society to ‘Fuck off’ and go live in the woods, sustainably right now I can’t. Because of that I am also unable to engage in political activism and protests as much as I would like. My being disabled makes me unable to safely attend, so I try to empower and elevate marginalized voices in my life wherever I can.

Give our people their land back now!

Although Detribalized, I am over a quarter Indigenous (closer to 3/8ths) on my mother’s side, I do privilege from the ability to pass as white, but identity erasure is not a privilege. I still suffer from the same types of ancestral and intergenerational trauma that my BIPOC siblings do, and I will use my white passing abilities to work within the very systems oppressing us and be a proponent for change.

I am a smol but mighty individual, I may be 5’3” but I have all the passion and the heart of someone twice my size.

I am a daily 420 user, weed is an integral part of my life, a passion, special interest, and it literally saved me from a life living on pharmaceutical medication. If you have a problem with that or being around it we likely won’t mesh well.

I love learning about people! Tell me your favorite song, movie, or favorite place?

Kinky Me:

Just in case is isn’t clear NSFW below here~ 😏

As a Kinky Switch, I am currently navigating and discovering my likes, dislikes, and role in kink. I have discovered I absolutely love to Dom. Because of that I recognize that I need both sides of the slash in my life to feel fulfilled.

Firstly, IT IS NOT WITHIN MY RISK PROFILE TO DO PICK-UP PLAY. I define pickup play as meeting someone new at an event and playing with them the same night, without first exchanging negotiation information and having a chance to both digest it and ask questions. I will happily give/receive tastings if that is something that is happening at the event but I don’t define those as pick up play necessarily. Now that's out of the way…

As a Kinky Switch, I am currently navigating and discovering my likes, dislikes, and role in kink. I have discovered I have a dominant/Toppy side. Because of that I recognize that I need both sides of the slash in my life to feel fulfilled. However, because I am disabled, I am also working to navigate and discover accessible ways to feed all parts of myself. While what that looks like for me may not be considered “traditional”, that doesn’t make it any less valid than anyone else’s way of practicing or engaging in kink. **No one** should be invalidating or telling anyone else that the way they engage in kink is “wrong”, and those who do are often speaking from a place of privilege.

I am very open to many different kinks and experiences with extensive prior negotiation first. I genuinely believe in the 'you won't know until you try' state of mind, and as such I am willing to try almost anything once. As a top, I prefer to have personally bottomed for any kink or experience myself, before feeling comfortable topping someone else in that area. And if I am unable to personally engage in the kink or experience as a bottom, I take great care to receive instruction from someone more experienced first. As a bottom, I prefer to observe a top’s approach and their play style in a given kink or experience, and vet them by speaking with previous play partners, before I allow them to top me. This allows me to make an assessment on whether or not our play styles and risk profiles may be compatible.

However, if you have intent on approaching me either for interest in an established romantic or play partnership or power-exchange dynamic, understand that I am both Demisexual and Demiromantic, and thus my engaging in power-exchange on either side of the slash takes an extraordinarily safe individual whom I also trust and have already established a strong emotional connection with first. I’ve been vulnerable with too many undeserving people and I am now much more aware of my worth, risk profile, standards, and needs.

I practice CRACK (Communicative Risk Aware Consensual Kink). Ask me about my google drive folder with my negotiation Docs!

I have three active romantic partnerships rn, though I am always looking for new connections of any form. My partners are my joy and absolute world, and anything that is sent to me, it's safe to assume they will see. So, do what you will when you consider messaging me.

What I am currently looking for (Those in bold are areas where I am still looking for a play partner):

Partner for Dark Disability Play
~~Top/Partner & Mentor for Needle/Staples~~
Top/Partner & Mentor for Knives
Top/Big/Mentor for Petplay
Switch/Partner for Wrestling/Grappling
Indigenous Top/Partner for sacred practice of Flesh Hooks/Scarification

Favorite Kinks/Fetishes (Non-Exhaustive Always Evolving):

Kink and My Disabilities:

Below is not an exhaustive list, but I feel like my visibility will provide those who feel alone some comfort;

-Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
-Rheumatoid Arthritis
-Fibromyalgia
-Permanent Post-concussion syndrome from multiple TBIs
-Multiple Chemical Sensitivity
-Autism Spectrum Disorder
-Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD)
-Anxiety and Depression
-Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
-Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
-Childhood Abuse Survivor
-DV and SeSa Survivor

A note on trauma, I am working extensively in regular therapy with a sex+, kink+, and body+ therapist who supports my use of kink as a therapeutic modality in addition to therapy

Because I am chronically ill and a wheelchair user, I use kink both as a coping skill for my mental illness and as a way of reclaiming power over my own body. Pain I can control and say when it stops vs uncontrolled pain of my illness.

I implore potential partners; play or otherwise to not be scared by the wheelchair or my disabilities. If anything, being disabled has provided me with a unique insight into my own body and I will recognize something being wrong usually earlier than an able bodied individual. Not to mention, if you refuse to play with someone disabled, even if your worry is about harming them. You have just taken their right to consent to play, and autonomy over their own disabled body away from them.

A note: It is understandable if you don’t think you’re skilled enough in a **particular** kink to engage in it safely with a disabled partner, this isn’t what I am talking about. What I am talking about is people who immediately dismiss playing with someone who is disabled in any fashion, just because they are disabled.

Titles and Honorifics:

I am Two-Spirit, trans, and Non-Binary as such I do not accept being referred to with any stereotypically feminine pronouns or honorific and will block those who do. Also due to my BIPOC heritage I personally will not engage in a M/s Dynamic nor use the honorifics associated with it. It feels really tacky asking me as an indigenous person to refer to any white person as ‘Master’.

When I am subbing/bottoming I love names like ‘Pretty Boi’, ‘Baby Boi’, basically anything with ‘Boi’ or ‘Bxy’ and some term of endearment, ‘Prince’, etc. But also, more objectifying terms if we’ve agreed on them. So long as I feel equally cared about and degraded at the same time, you are golden

When I am domming/topping, you cannot go wrong with ‘Syr’, 'Xir', ‘King’, 'Boss', 'Mister', 'Captain', ‘Mxstress’, ‘Chief’, However, 'Daddy' is reserved only for those I’m involved in that dynamic with, if you refer to me as such, I will assume you have not read my Bio and it will be an immediate block.

My Kinky Journey:

I have been active in the PDX community since June of 2018; however, I am a third-generation kinkster and was engaging in bedroom kink long before that. I attended my first munch, fell absolutely in love with the beauty of kink, and never looked back. During my first club visit I was quite captivated by multiple suspension scenes I saw done by the ROpenSpace Family, and am extremely interested in trying suspension myself, with proper instruction of course. I regularly attend munches and events and can often be seen volunteering and being of service to the community. I am here both to learn and observe, as well as make lasting connections, memories, and experiences.

With the reopening happening I have been cautiously working on finding a way to give back to my community through service as a disabled and immunocompromised individual. I am a part of the Kinkfest Dungeon Crew. I was a virtual volunteer for Leather Reign 15, Kink Between the Lines IV, and other online kink events, and you may even see me doing DM shifts down at Sanctuary! If you see me at an event, don’t hesitate to come up and say hello! I don’t bite… that hard… well at least not without consent and negotiation first!

I recently had to regrettably move away from my PDX community and move back home. I am still in the PNW and plan on coming down to visit as often as I can! I am part of the KF Dungeon Crew again this year for KF24. Additionally I will be helping host the Disability Social Hour during the event!

I uphold the standards set forth in the Kink Educators Code of Conduct.

Along my ever evolving journey, through therapy, support from an amazing partner and community I discovered I **AM** a little. Specifically I am a Dark Little, a friend of mine recently described me ‘like Wednesday Adams’ which felt fitting, and I have been able to explore and embrace what comes with that.

Because of that, if age play or Cg/l makes you uncomfortable, we won’t be compatible. My little is something that is always a part of me. Even when I am in Dom headspace or topping I do it with little giggly sadistic glee and will bounce around you while you writhe in pain at my hand.

I view my little a bit like Darla, from Finding Nemo. But instead of a poor defenseless fish, I have a poor, consenting, bottom? Ripping the heads off other littles’ stuffies or kicking over their blocks (consensually) just to see them cry sounds like a blast. Don’t get too close to my mouth unless you want to risk getting bitten. Did I mention my little one is also a sadist?

I am here to make meaningful friends and connections, be an advocate for inclusion, equity, and diversity within the community, and possibly find a mentor or house too.

In Love, Leather, and Service,
~Sylvar | Little Bear